My NICU schedule

This has been my life the past 2 weeks:

9:00 AM try my best to go to Jayven's 9 am feeding. I feed him. Hold and snuggle him for about an hour then I head home to spend time with Jessalyn. 

12:00 next feeding. I do the same thing. Feed. Hold. Snuggle. Go home. Eat lunch. Spend some time with my baby girl. Pump. Head back to the hospital. 

3:00 Same thing. Feed. Hold. Snuggle. Home. Pump. 

6:00 Same as above. The nurses have a shift change at 7:15 so it takes a little longer to get the nurses attention to put him back so I can go back home. 

9:00 PM I usually get home at about 10 pump some more before I go to bed. Go to sleep then start the day all over again the same way. 

Thank goodness Jordan is on break and my mom is here to help! 

Jayven's first two days of life

                    

We get to go visit Jayven up in the NICU whenever we want. We just have to sign in and out and sanitize our hands really good before we go in. The first day he was hooked up to all these things and had this annoying mask on his face. So we couldn't see how cute his tiny face was very well. We got to hold him for the first time yesterday. He's so quiet and will occasionally make tiny little squeaky noises.

   

He looks so little in his daddy's arms. When we first held him and talked to him he kept trying to open his eyes and kept moving his head around like hey those voices sound familiar. That's mommy and daddy! 

   

   

                             

This is where I've been spending most of my time. In this comfy hospital bed. Haha. The first day for me has been very difficult to move. Even with pain meds it hurts a lot to get up and down. Jordan had to help me get up whenever I needed to. And he pushed me in the wheelchair up to the NICU all day yesterday. 

    

                                  

I think Jayven was already so squished in my belly because every time we try to put his little legs into the blanket it kept ending up sprawled out like this. Every time we would come up this is exactly what he looked like. All relaxed with his tiny leg hanging out. And that tiny little foot seriously looks exactly like Jordan's foot. Haha.

   

Today, day two, he got to have his mask off and IV out. He has been doing great all day with out it. So we finally got to see the full extent of his adorable face. And from what we can tell so far I might actually have a child who looks like me!

                             

                            

We can just stare at his little face all day long. Which is pretty much what we've been doing.

                          

Another thing we got to do today was try breast feeding. Because he is early we know that he might have a little trouble at first. Our first attempt was pretty successful. After he got mad at first he latched right on with a little help from the lactation consultant. We tried a couple more times but he has been so exhausted that its been hard to keep him awake long enough. I think he's just enjoying snuggling mommy so much that he gets too comfy and falls asleep. Of course we will keep working at it until he gets it. In the mean time we will just keep practicing and pumping so he gets my breast milk. 

                       

Jayven's Birth Story

I've had a couple bleeding episodes during my pregnancy since I found out about my placenta previa but nothing quite as bad as this time. It was a normal evening at home. We were just getting ready to go to bed. As I was laying down I felt a gush of something and got up as quickly as I could and told Jordan something wasn't right as I ran to the bathroom. The next thing I knew was blood was running down my leg. Of course I started to panic and called for Jordan to hurry and take Jess next door over to Heidi's house so we could rush to the hospital. We're so thankful Heidi was home and awake so that she could take Jess. I wrapped a towel around myself and we rushed to the hospital.

We drove up to the ER entrance at about 9:30 and told them what was going although it was pretty obvious with all the blood soaking through my clothes. So they directed us up to labor and delivery. Which unfortunately is not the most convenient place to get to when you're in a hurry.  We got into triage and hooked me up to monitor baby. He was doing perfectly fine the whole time. Moving around like crazy as usual. Jordan  and I were discussing what would probably happen. We were saying oh I might have to stay overnight for the bleeding to stop. Or I would stay for a few days then be sent home on strict bed rest. Or worst case I would stay until my scheduled c-section on the 4th. We sat and waited while the nurses walked in and out. Then they informed us that I was being admitted with out saying anything else. I didn't think anything of it until they started poking me with needles for anesthesia. That's when we were a little confused. Once they mentioned me getting anesthesia we said "wait...what?!" Then one of the nurses said "yup! We're having this baby tonight. Sorry I forgot to mention that to you." And that's when I started freaking out. Freaking out because I'm only  34 weeks. Because this wasn't how I had it planned. I didn't want my baby to stay in the NICU. I didn't want to go home with no baby and leave him in the hospital. I wasn't ready yet. He's supposed to stay in for 3 more weeks. So many thoughts ran through my mind as I cried. My midwife tried to comfort me and assure me my baby boy was going to be just fine and they couldn't let me lose anymore blood. I was having contractions and they didn't want them to get any stronger.

Everything moved so fast from then on. The anesthesiologist came in and explained what was going to happen and asked me a few questions. They prepped me and we waited a few minutes to roll me into the OR. Jordan waited in the other room while they put my epidural in. I was so tense and shaking so much that the anesthesiologist was having trouble getting it in. So I felt a little more pain than I should have while he was working on it. And I cried mostly from the pain and anxiety I was having at the thought that they were about to cut me open and pull a tiny human out of me. After he finally got it all in I started to slowly feel my legs getting numb.  I hated the feeling because for some reason I felt claustrophobic not being able to move my legs. I kept wiggling my toes until they wouldn't wiggle anymore. They pulled the sheet up and brought Jordan in. All I can really remember from that point was feeling a lot of pressure while they were starting to cut open my belly. Jayven was out in about 5-10 minutes from that point at 11:30 that night. They raised him above the sheet so I could see him and then whisked him away. And then that's when I had a huge panic attack. I kept telling whoever could here me that I felt dizzy. Then I felt like I was going to pass out. Then I started shaking uncontrollably. Everyone was trying to calm me down and take deep breaths. My vital signs were all normal so it was mostly my panic attack getting to me. It got to its worst when I kept asking someone to help me because I started feeling a little pain while they were trying to stitch me up and I felt  like I was going to pass out then I felt nauseous and like I was going to throw up. Considering I have a phobia of throwing up you can only imagine how panicky I really got. I was given zofran and and some more pain meds to calm me down. The pain meds made me feel really drowsy and sleepy so I could barely keep my eyes open. The next thing I know they brought Jayven over so I could give him a quick kiss before they took him to the NICU. All of that was pretty much a blur. 

                             

                             

                             

    

After they finally got me all stitched and cleaned up they rolled me into another bed and took me to my recovery room. I was in and out of sleep for about an hour After that. Then they took me up to my mother/baby room. Jordan and I got settled in there and finally attempted going to sleep at around 3 am. I don't think I actually fell asleep the whole night. I would slightly dose off but my mind wouldn't shut off. I kept replaying everything in my mind and was still in shock over what had just gone on. It didn't help that I could only lay in one position and these stupid things they put on my legs kept going off every 15 minutes or so.

We got to go up and see our baby boy this morning and so far he is doing great. He is a champ!  They plan on taking off his breathing mask in the morning. We hope he won't have to stay any longer than 2 weeks and hopefully less than that. It's been really tough seeing our teeny tiny helpless baby all hooked up to so many wires. I know it's for his own good but I'm so sad that I'm not able to hold him all day long and snuggle with him. We could stare at him all day and hate having to leave him to go back to our room. But it's only for a short time and we will be able to hold him as long as we want soon! 

                                     Welcome to the world my sweet baby boy Jayven!!!